Dear Mr and Mrs Reid

Dear Mr and Mrs Reid,

We hope this letter finds you well.

Now, you don't know us and that's fine, but we know you and your son. And if we can take up a few minutes of your valuable time, we'd just like to talk to you about young Murphy.

We understand your reactions to the shocking news back on 20th November 2024 when, without warning, Andrew Dillon simultaneously and tactlessly blurted out to you and the world that your son Murphy was being shipped off to Fremantle. I mean, as Victorians, to hear “Fremantle” it obviously hit you hard and your instant bewildered response of “Where?” was understandable and instinctive and, dare we say, not unfamiliar.

In fact, looking at your reactions again, if anyone didn’t know it was the AFL draft, they'd have thought the government had just conscripted your son into the army and was sending him off to some far-flung part of the world to fight some endless and eternally fruitless war! Actually... thinking about our 30-year history.... switch the greens for purples.... they’d kind of have a point.

Anyway, Mr Reid, we Fremantle fans chose to determine that the tear in your eye was for proud Dad and joyous reasons and, Mrs Reid, we hope you have since recovered from the debilitating condition that rendered you unable to speak. We did, however, opportunistically take your silence as though you had no objection to Murph joining Fremantle. It was sort of a "speak now or forever hold your peace" marriage confirmation type of situation.

Now we know you're a tightknit family unit and it would still feel like a piece of it is somewhat missing. But sometimes the universe works in a ‘the more you give, the more you get’ kind of way, so we urge you to think of it from that type of positive perspective. Because while on some level you may feel like you've temporarily lost a member of your family, the truth is you've gained about 400k new family members, an enhanced Brady Bunch adaptation, if you will.

400k is the most recent estimated number of Fremantle fans nationally and if you put on Christmas lunch, we'll all do our best to get there.

But we’re getting off track here...

We'd just like to say how spectacular a job you both have done raising Murphy and how appreciative we are. His intelligence and composure, his skill with ball in hand, his ability to hit targets and his reliability to kick absurd goals had to come from somewhere, didn't it Dad? Is he a chip off the teary-eyed, where’s Fremantle, former Tiger fan old block? And, despite the early accolades and plaudits, as we virtually haven't heard a word out of Murphy... we assume he has your non-verbal condition, Mum? Whatever the case, you both need to be congratulated.

Now, this is where it gets a little tricky, so we’ll just be out with it.

With all due discretion and sensitivity, we’d like to inform you that the adoption papers have been signed, submitted, approved and received. Murphy “Bruce” Reid is now legally ours.

But don’t get us wrong, we are still one big happy family of which you are both very much a part of and it’s only the dynamics of the family structure that have been altered. Think of it as akin to off-field positional changes, or more fittingly, a change to the leadership group.

So, for the foreseeable future, home for young Murph is in Fremantle WA now and we’d like to extend the invitation for you both and your immediate family to contemplate migrating west. Because while we have full custody, not for a second do we wish to deny you unlimited visitation rights. In fact, we encourage them, albeit supervised and recorded just in case there are attempts to lure Murphy back to the dark, cold, crime riddled, financially bankrupt and broken state of Victoria. 

Our promise to you both in return is that we’ll look after Murphy just like you would if he was your own… I mean just like you did when he was your own… no wait… I mean just like you did when he was your own and just like you will when he becomes your own again in about 15 years’ time.

At Fremantle he has the extremely rare opportunity to hopefully become part of history as a member of the first ever Fremantle Dockers premiership. You will recall the just mentioned ‘15 years’ until he returns to you? Given our history to date, we subscribe to the “For a day trip, take enough bread for a month” philosophy.

So, Mr and Mrs Reid, you’ve given Murphy a wonderful start in life and you’ve created a solid foundation which he will not only construct an exciting and successful career, but build a meaningful and happy life on.

We thank you for your time and understanding and we look forward to our new big family celebrations together. Let us know what we can bring Christmas day.

Sincerely yours

Four Hundred Thousand Fremantle Fans

PS: By the way, Mr and Mrs Reid, if you have any other children with a similar skillset and temperament to Murph, we’d like to have a further chat. If not, well… you both look spritely and youthful… are we any chance of you putting some Bob Seger tunes on, do a bit of working on your night moves business and see if we can’t produce a couple?